


I know when you go down all your darkest roads

by cutebutpsyco



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 Fills [3]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Not Pepper Potts Friendly, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Tony Stark/Stephen Strange - Freeform, Pre-Relationship, Tony Stark Bingo 2020, soulbond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23358952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutebutpsyco/pseuds/cutebutpsyco
Summary: TONY STARK BINGO 2020 || CARD 3056 || FILL S1: FORCED SOULBONDING ||“Already declaring me dead, asshole…?” The whip was weak, just as Stark’s voice, but Stephen tried not to focus on that, holding on the suit gauntlet instead, and pushing shaking and uncertainty fingers around one of the Stones. He closed his eyes, bathing in the cosmical power and holding into its very essence until it burnt and then everything became shallow and foggy and he couldn’t either see or tell what was going on in front of him. All he could feel was pain, a burning pain building up his right arm and constricting his lungs.
Relationships: Christine Palmer & Stephen Strange, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - mentioned, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 Fills [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598716
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66
Collections: Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	I know when you go down all your darkest roads

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another bingo fill! I don't know how to feel about this, I haven't written anything that long in a while and this just went on its own way.  
> Once again, this is not Pepper friendly. If you've read my previous fics you'll know what I think about her and why Pepperony is my NOTP, I still think it'll be extremely out of character for Tony do divorce her if things would have done how they did in this fic and for this reason, I decided to keep them married, even if I can't ignore what I think would be their problems in a relationship. 
> 
> As always, nothing belongs to me, title from Graveyard by Halsey.

The dust was settling and he knew what it meant. Stephen knew it the moment the water stopped to push against his extended hands, stopped to beg for it to be released from the spell the Sorcerer was using to keep it back from the Avengers Compound field. He knew what was going to follow because he saw it. And yet, there was even more he saw. 

He saw what was going to happen next, he saw the entire scene that was going to roll in front of his eyes and he knew he couldn’t live with the knowledge of being the cause of someone’s death. He wasn’t anyone to choose one life’s over the others’. And he was still a doctor. If he could save a life, he had to. His eyes trailed down, looking at the empty shell of the Eye of Agamotto. He couldn’t count on the Time Stone anymore, but he knew what he had to do. Which was the only hope. 

He opened a portal to where Tony Stark was lying against the rumbles of the Compound and moved fast over the people who were there. He crouched down and tried not to look at Stark’s eyes. They weren’t friends, they would probably never have been, and yet Stephen couldn’t deny that the man he saw while looking into all possible futures was someone he’d very much like to know better. Not the cold, egocentric man he saw on TV, but someone who cared, deeply, more than everything. Someone ready to sacrifice his own life for the ones of people around him and the entire world. 

“Doctor…?” Peter’s voice reached him, and Stephen shook his head. He didn’t have time to explain, not now. Later, once everyone was safe. 

“Already declaring me dead, asshole…?” The whip was weak, just as Stark’s voice, but Stephen tried not to focus on that, holding on the suit gauntlet instead, and pushing shaking and uncertainty fingers around one of the Stones. He closed his eyes, bathing in the cosmical power and holding into its very essence until it burnt and then everything became shallow and foggy and he couldn’t either see or tell what was going on in front of him. All he could feel was pain, a burning pain building up his right arm and constricting his lungs. 

For an instant, the pain in his hands seemed to be relieved, and then the burning stopped just when he let go on the Stone and he felt his body fall against the hard ground. Stephen would have sworn that he could almost see it as if he was astral projecting himself, but he knew he wasn’t, and he had no idea of what was going on. Until everything went black again. 

\--

Stephen's head hurt, that was how he gained back consciousness while he tried to timidly open his eyes just to have to shield them from the light with his eyes. In that, at least, the Cloak proved itself to be of great help, wrapping itself about the Sorcerer’s slender figure. He knew he won’t ever stop to be forever glad to the piece of fabric which saved his life more times than he’d like to admit, but, at that moment, the soft and heavy fabric was also a reminder of what happened what seemed to be ages before. 

Stephen couldn’t tell where he was, he could feel something soft against his back, but the blinding light didn’t allow him to see what was going on in front of him or to take in his surroundings. And that was the reason why he almost yelled when he saw a short shadow move by his side, followed a moment later by the sound of someone who was trying to get his attention. 

Somehow, he knew who that person was. Or, maybe, he did because he was sure that person wasn’t Christine and that led him just to one name on top of his thoughts: Wong. 

“Could you wait for my head to stop spinning before telling me how reckless I’ve been?” He asked, moving so that he was lying on his side and was in a position much more acceptable to have a verbal fight. Not that he was in the mood, but he knew his friend well enough. 

“Reckless…” Wong seemed to weigh the word on his tongue as if the librarian didn’t use it at least ten times per day when he was speaking with Strange. “That’s the understatement of the century, Strange! Whatever you were thinking to do, to touch an Infinity Stone with your own bare hands was madness at its finest! And what you did… I don’t even know where to start… Do you have the slightest idea of…?”

Stephen knew. After the first incident with the Time Stone, he learned that footnotes came after the text of the spell, but it didn’t matter, not in front of the scene he kept watching in front of his eyes while he was in the Soul Dimension. He wondered what the others saw, but maybe he was the only unlucky one, maybe for the other it hadn't been anything but a long sleep. That would have been bearable. What Stephen went through, what he knew since he looked into all the possible futures on Titan, that was his burden to carry. And for that reason, he had time to think back about all the books he read when he was studying and working on the Time Stone. And he found that spell. So he knew what he risked, and he knew what he signed up for. 

But he didn’t have the strength to tell that to Wong, and while he considered the other Sorcerer a friend, he didn’t know if he could completely trust him, not yet, not with that. So all he did was to nod and tried to focus on the confused face in front of him. “Did it work?”

It was clear that it was the last answer Wong wanted to give him, but then he nodded, almost defeated by the answer itself. A moment later, he heard some steps coming from what seemed to be the hallway followed shortly by a voice he didn’t know where to place. 

“Is he awake? Is he okay?” The tone was too anxious and kind of unknown to Stephen to name the owner of the voice, but a moment later he saw a flash of red and blue by his side and understood who spoke. 

“Peter…?” He asked, trying to get up. No way he was going to show the kid how much his head was still hurting. He didn’t know him well, but from the few things he learned about him in their staying in the Soul Dimension he knew it was better to pretend he was fine. 

“Oh my god, Doctor Strange, you did it!” A bright smile crossed Peter’s face while he all but threw himself against Stephen’s body, forcing the man to balance himself back against the sofa he was lying on a moment before. That reaction left the Sorcerer at a short of words, while the entire situation started to wash over him. His head was still a mess, but from his now more standing position, he could see that they were in the Sanctum and was feeling a bubble of anxiety which didn’t belong to him. He tried to look deeper into it, feeling a wave of fear and pain that not even Peter’s hug could wash it out. 

A part of him knew what it was, but he still didn’t want to ask for a confirmation. He didn’t dare to hope that much, he didn’t want to hear that, despite everything, he didn’t do enough. And yet, while he had no idea of what was going on, he was sure all those new emotions weren’t his, not completely. 

“Did I…?” He asked, this time looking over brown fluffy hair, eyes fixed on Wong who nodded once again. 

“Tony Stark’s alive,” Wong said, and there was something in his voice, which was suggesting Stephen that they would have spoken about that later. The Sorcerer hoped that later would have been once his head stopped to hurt, but, for the moment, just let himself rethink about the last crazy hours, realizing a moment later he had no idea how long he had been dead to the world. 

\--

Stephen would have asked himself how Tony Stark got his phone number if only the man wasn’t Tony Stark. Him being the tech genius the entire world knew meant that Stephen didn’t want to lose his time and intelligence over that. He knew that, for him, it probably would have been as easy as stealing candy to a kid. And still, he pretended not to see the message which he read on the screen of his phone. 

“You owe me an explanation - TS,” Was all its screen said, flashing every couple of minutes in a grim reminder. As if the confusion coming from the depth of Stephen’s minds wasn’t enough.  
Wong scolded him enough about using Infinity Stones you don’t completely know and messing with the timeline to give him a week-long headache on top of which feelings that didn’t belong to him seemed to be their new best friends. As well as the person these belonged to.

Stephen wasn’t sure about who they were, but if the books were something to go with, he had a vague idea, which led to the man who texted him. AKA the last person he wanted to see. The point was, Stephen knew which the prize to the spell was, and decided that Tony Stark was worth it, but while he came to know the man, he couldn’t even suspect how much similar and yet different they were. And if the Sorcerer could barely keep enough with his own bottled up emotions, well, two of him were too much, even for Strange. 

So he did the most rational thing to do: he disappeared to every Avenger’s radar, sending Wong when the UN asked for his debrief about the Compound Battle. (He also closed himself in the library trying to understand how to shield his own feelings to Stark, but it wasn’t like someone had to know. It wasn’t even that kind of feeling that he was trying to keep hidden. He knew since moment one that the man was taken and having fallen for him couldn’t and didn’t change a thing.) 

The point was that, apparently, there wasn’t a way out from soul radar, even Stark couldn’t know that. Stephen was sure that Wanda didn’t have any idea of the spell he used and while the Guardians possibly knew more than he did about the Stones he doubted they were somehow magic-savvy. Nobody could have told him about the spell who was keeping him alive. What Strange didn’t know, though, was that he didn’t just bond his life-span with Stark’s, but that now also their souls were connected.  
As Wong painted it, it was a lot to digest for someone who didn’t even believe in souls in the first place. And, despite all his studies on the brain that proved exactly the opposite, apparently, emotions too were in the soul. So, not to give himself up about how he was feeling, Stephen decided that being completely neutral was the best way to get over it until he found a way to shield himself. Or that was what he thought, because, according to Wong, he was just sulking. 

\--

Tony Stark was a lot of things, but not one to give up easily, especially not in front of the possibility of understanding things that no regular human being could understand. Namely, how the heck he survived the Snap when it almost killed the Hulk. And why Stephen Strange did everything to ignore him instead of providing a clear explanation. 

Tony wasn’t stupid, he figured out his miracle survival was connected with magic, and considering that he knew the total amount of three magic people, and one hated him, the chances narrowed down to Strange himself or Wong. And from what he remembered of the final battle against Thanos, Wong was way too far from him to reach his almost lifeless body and do anything to save him. Which had left Tony to pull all his odds on Stranger Danger. Who also very much conveniently disappeared shortly after Peter, Tony and Pepper left the Sanctum.  
On Tony’s book, that meant guilty as fuck.

Which was why he was going down on that story, didn’t matter how dirty he had to dig up.  
And that, basically, was the reason why he was now sitting on one of the most uncomfortable chairs he has ever placed his ass on, outside the studio of an ER doctor at Metro General. Lucky for Tony, before disappearing after a mysterious accident, Stephen Strange was quite the popular guy, with a total hottie as a girlfriend. So, once he has been ignored for an entire week and after having tried to look for the horror house where Stephen and Wong lived without finding anything, he decided to try his luck with the said hottie. 

“Mr Stark,” Tony immediately recognized her from the pictures in which she saw Dr Christine Palmer by Strange’s side. “How can I help you?”

“I’d like to speak about our common friend,” He said, glad that she wasn’t the kind of person to lose lots of time speaking about the weather. Time that Tony didn’t have. He might be a man on a mission, but he would very much spend his afternoon with Morgan than playing hide and seek with Magic Mike. 

“Common friend?” She asked, instead, and Tony wished he’d known her before because he couldn’t tell if she was honest or not. “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand who you are speaking about.”

Not even a single change in her expression, nothing that could confirm him if it was a bluff. Well, if it was it, she was a damn good actress. “Stephen Strange. I need to know where I can find him.”

“I didn’t know you and Stephen are friends, Mr Stark,” Ok, that was a lie. Everyone and their mothers saw the footage from the final battle and, well, he and Stephen weren’t friends, but they worked together and… And Strange saved his fucking life using magic without even asking him and god knew what else he did with his fucking sparkling hands. No, not going to think about that in front of his girlfriend, no. “And I’m sorry, but even if I wanted to tell you where you can find Stephen, which I don’t, I couldn’t. If you’d like to tell him something and you are such good friends, you can call him. Now, if you mind, I’ve human lives to save.”

She crossed her arms in a way which reminded Tony of Pepper’s and tried to move over him down the aisle. And the point was, Tony could have probably found the place anyway, with long searches and while keeping bothering Strange with phone calls and messages, but it didn’t prove to be the best way, and Tony needed to know everything immediately. “Saving lives? Well, that’s what Stephen did. He saved mine, and I don’t know how, or why. He’s not picking up his phone, and I need to know.”

That, at least, stopped Christine.  
“Is he not answering?” She asked, and now she sounded worried, rapidly moving back past him, her phone pushed against her cheek. “Yeah,” She said, a moment later. “I understand… But I thought it was… Uhm… Look, I’m worried. I saw what happened, and I saw what he did. And we both know what happened after Dormammu.” The silence went on for a while, just the time for Tony to understand that Stephen probably wasn’t the person she was talking to, then it was broken once again by Doctor Palmer’s voice: “Thanks Wong, I… I’ll call when my shift is over.”

She pocketed her phone and then turned to look at Tony. “I can bring you to him, but I need you to promise me something,” She said, in a whisper. Tony knew that he couldn’t promise anything before knowing what she wanted to ask him, but there was an urgency in her words and in what she said to Wong that brought him to nod nonetheless. “Don’t ask him what he did to save you.”

\--

“Can’t talk now, and send.” Tony looked at the ten new text messages from Pepper showing up on his sunglasses and a part of him hated himself because he was running away from yet another discussion they needed to have but he couldn’t bring himself to witness. It seemed that after he Snapped his fingers, even their sort-of-perfect relationship went back to five years before. She pretended to understand why he needed to be Iron Man all the time along, and the most malicious part of Tony suggested that it was only because she didn’t want to appear selfish to the eyes of all the people around them. 

She told him she was worried, that he almost died and with Morgan he couldn’t be so reckless, but the point was always the same. She wanted Tony Stark and not Iron Man, but there were no differences. He tried, he really did, but he simply couldn’t give up that part of him, the best of him. Thanos had been dead for four days when she started to ask him to make his retirement public once again, and Tony found out that he didn’t really want to retire in the first place. And instead of telling her, well, he closed in his lab, letting in only Morgan and trying to contact the wizard who saved his life. Not textbook husband behaviour, he was aware of that. 

And there he was, outside the Sanctum Sanctorum, with Christine Palmer, waiting for the door to swing open and ready to get as many answers as the doctor herself deemed to be necessary. 

\--

Stephen knew he should have answered Christine’s phone calls the moment Wong told him the woman was headed straight to the Sanctum, but the point was that he thought it was Stark one again and the last person he wanted to hear from was the billionaire.  
Whose emotions he was still trying to silence with the poorest results ever. The funny thing in all of that was that Stark probably had no clue about Stephen’s struggle, and just ignored something was wrong in the first place. He wanted an answer so that he could fill the question mark that was probably digging a hole in his mind and then go ahead with his life. Which sort of was what Stephen was hoping for if he had to be honest. 

Good thing, though, was that feeling nothing has become easier and easier for him and he didn’t even need to put any effort into it.  
Bad for basic human relationships, very good for soul-bonding, apparently. 

He shook his head while still trying to understand what was written on the book opened on his lap. He knew he could understand it easily if only he could focus on that instead of the annoyance coming from the bubble of Stark’s feelings. He needed to shut them out once for all and then go back to his mission to disappear from the man’s life. It sounded like a good enough plan. Better than the other one who was sneaking his way through Stephen’s steel self-control. 

Once again, he closed his eyes knowing it would have been a long afternoon when the Cloak started to move around, wanting to have all of Strange’s undivided attention. He was used to that, and he didn’t even mind when it came from his most loyal companion, so he decided to follow it being surprised when he found himself being dragged toward the foyer. 

Where Christine stood, a worried expression barely hidden and the clear exhaustion from a day at the hospital. She didn’t even give him the time to walk completely inside the room that was throwing her arms around his neck, locking him in a thigh hug. “Oh god, are you ok?” 

“Yes… sure… I…” He wasn’t, not even in the slightest, but it wasn’t like he could tell her, not now, at least. He needed to fix the problem before speaking to her about it. But the feeling of having her in his arms was always calming, grounding. She was probably the only person in front of whose hug he wouldn't back off. “Yes… Sorry I didn’t call you. Things have been…”

Christine nodded, but she didn’t let him go. “I saw the battle. You just got me extremely worried.”

Stephen felt his lips curling slightly upward, but he felt guilty nonetheless because he knew he didn’t answer her, he disappeared from everyone, not just from Stark and the Avengers. “I’m ok. Don’t worry.”

A moment later, she let him go, moving a step back and looking up at him, almost sheepishly. “Well, there’s another person who was worried…”

“I guess ignoring me is extremely tiring, Mr Doctor,” Tony Stark walked past Christine, reaching Stephen’s eyesight in the middle of the entrance of the Sanctum, just where they spoke what seemed to be a century before when Bruce Banner opened a Hulk-shaped hole in Strange’s house ceiling. Hunger and curiosity washed over the Sorcerer and he knew, just looking at the faces of the two people in front of him, that it was all coming from Stark. For a moment, he let his usual cold behaviour shake and he knew the other man felt it because his emotions turned into confusion. 

“What was it…?” He asked, and Christine turned to look at the billionaire and back at Stephen as if she was trying to understand if they were speaking about something she couldn’t see. Stark’s hand moved to his chest, and his eyes were wide, his glance lost into something that wasn’t there in the first place. 

And Stephen knew that it didn’t matter what he said, he couldn’t lie. Not when Tony understood that there was something wrong in the first place, not after that he asked him for an explanation. Tony Stark was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of these, and he could do his Maths. 

“It’s… A long story,” He decided to say instead. 

“And I have all the time in the world,” Stark retorted back, taking a seat on the sofa at the end of the stairs. And Stephen hated how Christine decided that was the right moment to go and help Wong in the kitchen. The fact that Strange wasn’t even sure that the librarian was in the Sanctum didn’t come in his mind until his best friend already disappeared in the hallway. “You saved my life, and usually when people do it, they expect something in return.”

“I don’t,” He almost snapped. He knew that Tony didn’t know him as well as he knew Stark, but that didn’t mean that the man could walk into his house and accuse him of that much. Maybe, he would have done it in another life, not for money, of course, but for the phantom of vain fame. Maybe that was the reason why Stephen hated that much the implication of Tony’s words. 

“Yeah, I get that much. I just don’t understand why,” Tony sounded surprised. He looked at the Doctor in front of him and found himself at short of words. “I don’t… I don’t know what happened… I don’t know what you did… and why… and... Your girlfriend made me promise I wouldn’t ask but…”

“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s… she’s my best friend, and she deserves better than me anyway,” Stephen said, almost in a conditioned reflex. He knew that it was the truth, Christine did deserve someone less selfish, someone, who would have put her first and furthermost. She was the best person he ever knew, and the fact that she stuck with him despite everything was proof of that. Stark’s eyebrow raised sarcastically, but he didn’t interrupt and Stephen was glad of it. He had no idea why Christine made him promise not to ask, but maybe she knew everything. She has always been better than everyone he ever knew to understand without the need for words. “I imagine you want to know how I saved you.”

Stark nodded, and Stephen had to look somewhere else. Those big, whiskey brown eyes, so filled with fear and worry and yet so determinate were the same that he saw every time Strange closed his eyes. 

“Magic,” He answered, and Stephen felt more fear breaching from the spot in his chest where Stark’s emotions were mirrored inside of him. Stephen nodded. “Peter told me you took the Soul Stone. I guessed you used that one.”

Another nod and fear started to turn into panic. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t ask for your consent,” He said, rapidly. “And I know you’ll have a lot of questions about this, but it’s better if you don’t know, believe me.”

He tried to be as calm as he could, hoping that the man in front of him could understand what Stephen was trying to tell him. It didn’t work, and it wasn’t only panic, but also anger which was starting to rise in Stark’s chest. Stephen moved a step closer, his hand looking for Tony’s left arm, the one which didn’t need any kind of surgery after the battle. 

“I can’t,” He said, simply. And Strange did trust him. 

“To keep you alive, I had to use the Soul Stone, Peter is right about this,” He decided to start from there. Hopefully, knowing the story from Adam and Eve would have stopped Tony from asking more questions once they’d be at the end of the story. “I knew how it was going to end since I watched all the possible futures on Titan, and while in the Soul Dimension… I had time, a lot of time, to think about all the books I’ve read. I knew there was a way to avoid your death, and I remembered something I read while studying the Time Stone. Ancient populations believed that the last breath of a person represents their soul leaving this world. It’s not, of course, and I don’t even believe in souls, but if there was a way to save you…”

“Why?” That was a question the Sorcerer didn’t expect to be asked. 

“Because it was unfair. Because I should have been the one to die. Before you are the greatest hero of our generation and this world needs Iron Man,” He answered. _Because I fell in love with you,_ Stephen wanted to say, but he couldn’t, because Morgan was one of the reasons why Tony Stark deserved to continue to live. “And while I might not like you as a person, well, I can be the biggest one.”

Tony’s lips curled in a smirk and a part of his panic seemed to dissipate after that quirk. It was exactly what Stephen was hoping for and he was glad it helped. The other man ran a hand in his hair before going back to look at Stephen’s eyes. “So, I know a few things about magic, but I know it always comes with a price. So, what was mine, Rumplestiltskin?”

Stephen shook his head once again. He didn’t know a lot of the man, but from what he did, Stark wasn’t the kind of person to accept easy explanations, especially when these concerned him in the first place. And the fact was that he knew how Tony felt about magic, he could feel it, in the deep of his chest. He didn’t want to tell him, that was the exact reason why Strange had been avoiding the Avengers for days, and yet he knew that Stark deserved to know. 

“It does, you are right,” The Sorcerer answered, trying to gain for himself as much time as he could. He didn’t even know why he was trying to sweeten the pill to Tony, but maybe it was just because if the man was grateful to him, he wouldn’t have stormed out of the Sanctum. Not that Stephen did care about Stark’s reaction. He might have fallen in love with him, but he didn’t expect for the feeling to be reciprocated or for Stark to become his friend. And yet, despite everything, he remembered the futures in which he was, and Stephen wasn’t ready to give up that little hope he had. Or to indulge in the memory of the ones in which Stark married him instead. “Do you know how someone can obtain the Soul Stone?”

“You have to sacrifice what you love the most,” Tony answered in a whisper. “A soul for a soul is what Red Skull told Clint and Nat… I... “

Guilt washed over Stephen and he wondered if the cause of that was that he was alive and the spy wasn’t. It lasted just a couple of seconds, but, for Strange, it was enough to understand that trying to gain time was helpful just for him, that he was being selfish. He nodded, perfectly knowing that Stark wasn’t waiting for anything but for him to continue with the story. “Well, to save your life I had to give something to the Soul Stone.”

Confusion and, a moment later, Strange could feel how impatient the genius was. He could feel the questions that he wanted to ask, and a part of him hated the fact that he already knew he wouldn’t like the answers. “The only way to do it was to share someone else’s lifespan. More precisely the lifespan of the person who was saving you.”

“Meaning… You!” There was anger in his voice and while it was clearly meant as a question, Stark just needed confirmation about that. And not wanting to insult his intelligence, Stephen just nodded. And now all he could feel coming from Stark was anger. “You did what?!”

“I bonded our souls together, that’s why I can feel your emotions and you felt mine, before.”

Tony looked at him, wide brown eyes staring into Stephen’s face, but his glance was empty, pure panic rising in his chest. Stephen had no idea of why, and while he was afraid that he would have asked with what right he chose to do that much, he couldn’t fathom why he was so scared and afraid. And he didn’t know what to do if not trying to be as calm as he could and move a step forward and place a hand against his shoulder. “Break it. Get away from my mind.”

“Your…? I’m not in your mind, Stark. And the bond can’t be broken.”

And there it was, the feeling that was accompanying Stark since the first moment he walked into the Sanctum, now showing completely on his face. “I’m sorry I couldn’t ask for your permission, Stark. I thought you would have preferred to live with your daughter instead of dying in the dust.” 

Fear, confusion, anger. And what totally was a panic attack. 

“I... “ Was everything Stark was able to say, and Stephen hated himself because, despite everything, he forced on Tony his choice. Just as it happened when he chose the only future. But he couldn’t think about letting the man die. Maybe he did it for himself, in the first place, but he wouldn’t have been able to survive with the sense of guilt of having killed Tony Stark and let a young girl be an orphan. “Not in my brain…?”

“I’ll explain to you everything,” He promised, taking his seat by Tony’s side. “But I need you to breathe first.”

\--

Tony had no idea how long he stayed into the magical horror house of Strange and Co., but when he decided it was about time for him to go home he knew he was keeping it together just because he was used to showing the world to be completely fine.  
But he wasn’t. Like hell. He didn’t like the idea of Stephen knowing what was going on every time, and he wished he was able to hide his feelings just like the Sorcerer was doing. 

But he couldn’t, he didn’t have any idea of why Strange did that, he couldn’t tell why a perfect stranger would have saved him. He didn’t trust the man, he would never trust him. And apparently, now his life was bonded with the Sorcerer. He tried not to think about it, remembering the weird feeling that went through his body when he felt Strange’s confusion and knowing his anxiety would feel stronger. 

He has never been more grateful in his life for Starbucks once he walked in front of one of them, deciding to enter the shop. He needed alone time, he needed to stay with his thoughts to process what he just discovered. Strange wasn’t his friend, he had never met him and he knew they started with the wrong foot, and yet the man willingly decided to share his own life to give Tony another opportunity. He couldn’t understand why, and when he asked Strange he just told him it was his duty. Stark couldn’t understand, and he didn’t like to understand. He was a man of science, he needed to open problems up so that he could understand the whats and whys, but he couldn’t. Not when this specific problem had so many incognitas. 

“Friday, give me everything we have on Strange,” He whispered to the AI. He wasn’t too happy to do that, remember that the Sorcerer asked for his forgiveness for not asking his consent, but Tony needed to understand and the data he was looking at were the ones they collected when he was Dusted, so he wasn’t like he was invading his privacy more than he already did. 

“On it, boss,” She answered, even if there was hesitation in her voice. “I have to remember that Miss Potts is trying to reach you.”

Which was the last thing he wanted to do and the last person he wanted to speak with. He left the house before she was awake, heading to Stark Industries with the excuse of having something to work on. Which wasn’t completely wrong, considering that he was trying to speak with the Sorcerer. Now, he wasn’t so sure it was the best idea, but it wasn’t like he was so eager to go back home too. And yet, he knew he couldn’t ignore her all day long. 

“Text her I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” He ordered. “And ask Peter if he wants to tag along.” 

Pepper was going to be angry because it meant that her husband was avoiding another discussion, but he couldn’t bring himself to fight with her, not after what Strange told him. He breathed in, letting the hot and over-sugared white café mocha do its wonders to his body and spirit and fighting back yet another wave of anxiety. And then he felt it, behind all his thoughts and worries, something just stronger than a soft breeze, filled with calm and the smell of incense he had been washed with once he walked into the Sanctum. He knew he hadn't been able to suppress his feelings, but, somehow, knowing that Strange was trying to calm him helped. Not enough to silence that tight grasp he felt in his stomach, but enough to distract him long enough for the sweet taste of his coffee to soften it. 

He had no idea why Strange did it, but, somehow, he was grateful the Sorcerer did that.

**Author's Note:**

> As always kudos and comments are appreciated. I'll publish the entire bingo card on pillowfort and dreamwidht sooner or later so if you have any suggestion you can tell me.  
> In light of the COVID-19 emergency, I've opened some commission slots also for fanfics. A more detailed post will be up on Tumblr today, but if you want to know more, come and say hi at [ironstrange-is-the-endgame](http://ironstrange-is-the-endgame.tumblr.com/).


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